Tag Archives: iphone

Dec 31

December 31

Happy New Year!

And so today ends the Instagram project of 2013.

I’ve learned a lot of things this year, including that I’m not photogenic. A good selfie is hard to achieve. It’s easier to photobomb a stranger than it is to take a decent self-portrait. My good photos of anything are a complete and total fluke. Filters will help everything. My children find me embarrassing. I can never flip out my iPhone for a photo fast enough, and will therefore lose the shot of the bald eagle flying over Wayne and Middle Belt. Food porn is the best porn of all. My animals will die. My stomach is fat. My husband looks like shit when  he’s sick. The camera NEVER lies.

During this last year, I’ve managed to devote a whopping five minutes of time each day to the Instagram project. Which is amazing. Five minutes times 365 equals 1,825 minutes, divided into 60 minutes (for an hour), makes a grand total of 30.41 hours toward the project.

Obviously, I could be using this time doing something else. Like writing. So next year I will devote at least five minutes a day for writing. Maybe I’ll finish a book?

I started last year in a favorite chair with a cat.

01-01

I am ending the year in the same chair with another cat. Not the same one, obviously.

12-31 amao

Time marches on.

Happy New Year.

Goodbye 2013.

Goodbye My Life in Instagram 2013.

It’s time for new projects, new horizons, and right now, a new bottle of champagne.

Stay safe and sweet, and see you in the Interwebs.

Filter: Amaro

PS If you wish to follow my other exploits, tune in HERE.

Dec 22

December 22

My friend and employee, Chelcie Lou, has been commissioned to take a photo of me decent enough for a book cover.

She’s having a problem, though. I’m incredibly unphotogenic. In fact, I’ve always been unphotogenic, but lately, the degree of ugliness has transcended normal levels.

First of all, I’m a little chubby, meaning overweight. I can see it in my face as well as on my gut. Second, my face is and always has been very angular. Angles work well for men, making them rugged and appealing, but it’s a death knell for women. Third, I can’t smile. I never have been able to, probably at first because my teeth were crooked, but even after painful adult orthodontia, I still can’t do it. I have a niece who is gainfully employed as a model. She obviously has none of my non-modeling genes.

So while the colors are good, just about every photo Chelcie Lou has taken has a major flaw. These are not the flaws of the photographer, but of the subject. I’m definitely not blaming her.

12-22 walden

I usually turn to my left side. It’s instinctual. I’m not sure why I do it.

Today I selfied myself from the right.

I have no good side.

Filter: Walden

Dec 20

December 20

I must admit that yesterday’s post was not a selfie. That’s because I was too busy with real life drama to take a photo of myself. I’m sure that would have been a picture that tells a couple million words, none of them good. Pretty sure some eyeballs would have burned out.

Today is my office Christmas party. We used to host big shindigs with karaoke DJs and food in semi-decent hotels. Not anymore. Who can afford to? The last time we had a hotel Christmas party was about four years ago. We held it the first weekend in January (after New Years’) because it was cheaper to do than before Christmas. So all we have is a ham and salads, fruit, deviled eggs (I made them), meatballs (ditto), and other things.

I’m just sitting here wondering how my hair got so thin.

12-20 Xproii

Filter: X Pro II

Oct 11

October 11

Look what I found.

10-12 hudson

My iPod.

I totally forgot how to turn it on.

Since getting my iPhone, I haven’t had to use the iPod. I mean really. the phone has a camera, games, the internet, music, a calculator, an alarm clock, a flashlight, my email, and a PHONE. This makes the iPod (and iPad) obsolete.

My, how fast we have come in the last couple of years. Scary, isn’t it?

Filter: Hudson