December 22

My friend and employee, Chelcie Lou, has been commissioned to take a photo of me decent enough for a book cover.

She’s having a problem, though. I’m incredibly unphotogenic. In fact, I’ve always been unphotogenic, but lately, the degree of ugliness has transcended normal levels.

First of all, I’m a little chubby, meaning overweight. I can see it in my face as well as on my gut. Second, my face is and always has been very angular. Angles work well for men, making them rugged and appealing, but it’s a death knell for women. Third, I can’t smile. I never have been able to, probably at first because my teeth were crooked, but even after painful adult orthodontia, I still can’t do it. I have a niece who is gainfully employed as a model. She obviously has none of my non-modeling genes.

So while the colors are good, just about every photo Chelcie Lou has taken has a major flaw. These are not the flaws of the photographer, but of the subject. I’m definitely not blaming her.

I usually turn to my left side. It’s instinctual. I’m not sure why I do it.

Today I selfied myself from the right.

I have no good side.

Filter: Walden